Don’t Say It; Stop Spreading Crazy in Your Home

Kayla Howard Family, Home 6 Comments

Don't say it! -- speak Life

Don’t Say It; Stop Spreading Crazy in Your Home

By Kayla Howard

The other day I saw an article, most likely in a Facebook feed, which triggered something down deep inside of me. You know that feeling you get about ideas that are important to you…something you are passionate about?  That was this feeling.  It screamed, “NO!” with every fiber of my body.

The article was titled, “’I’m fat’ and other things my daughter has heard me say.”


Now, I confess, I did not read the article, but I’m going to make a hopeful guess that it was actually encouragement to stop this kind of practice, however, it brought out my own inner passion on this very subject.

This is something I’m so passionate about in fact that I would venture to guess my daughter’s have actually never heard me say that. I don’t call myself ugly names as a general rule, but raising daughters free of feeling fat has always been my special ambition.

Why would I care?  Simply because I did feel fat growing up and it literally inhibited me by keeping me focused on myself…which was completely ridiculous because I was certainly not fat.

How much time do we as girls, young ladies and then as women, WASTE on ourselves.  Time that could have been spent enjoying games (if you weren't "too fat" and self conscious,) blessing others with your gift (if you could stop thinking about how you looked long enjoy to stand up and sing) or serving a hurting soul (if only you weren't too busy standing in front of the mirror pinching an inch and complaining).  

Don’t get me wrong, not all time spent on yourself is a waste.  But, time spent calling yourself fat, talking about all the things you hate about you, and slinging insults about your body is time WASTED. Period.

Sure, if you need to lose some weight or tone up, there’s nothing wrong with that. Please, JUST DO IT. Don’t talk about it.

Words have great power.  The age old rhyme is so absurd!! Words do hurt.  Words change atmospheres.  Words change lives.

Moms, Dads, you have so much influence on the atmosphere of your home.  Not only in what you allow or disallow your children to do in your home, but what you they see you do as an example.  Do they hear you speak words of life about yourself? Children are very likely to do what you do.  That age old line is true.

Are you living out a life in front of your children that you would be proud to see them live out for themselves?

Okay, so I know you can’t keep your kids from bad things in the world, and they will hear people use cruel words toward themselves and others.  But I believe you can create an atmosphere in your home that will be make similar training ground as to how they train people to identify real currency—by studying the real thing.  If we create a beautiful atmosphere built on the truth of God’s word, they will sense when something is off when they are out and about.

Speak life over your home.  Refuse to invite crazy, offensive and vile spirits there. Don't say it if it's not going to edify. 

There are two key things I do in our home to encourage spiritual health:

#1 Praise and worship music is playing almost all day.  We use Pandora and create our own station with our favorite artists such as Toby Mac, Casting Crowns, Bethel, Jesus Culture, & Bekah Shae.  It's pretty common to see someone break out in a worship dance around here. 

#2 We also soak in biblical teachings in our car, on our computer etc…  We personal enjoy these specific teachers:

Kris Vallotton

Steven Furtick

Bethel Church

Graham Cooke

I’d love to hear who are your favorite speakers and music!!! Please post it in the comments below!

Comments 6

  1. Kayla-I grew up in a home were although we “ate healthy” compared to almost everyone around us I was fat. My mom thought she was fat, my aunts…and then so did I. Ate age 13 I went on my first diet. At age 30 I had weight loss surgery weighing 350lbs…even after losing half my weight I still felt and thought of myself as “fat”. Peoples perception of themselves, shaped my perception of me…Thank you so much for making it SO VERY CLEAR THAT healthy eating is not a perpetual “diet”. That we can all be in different “shapes” and still not have that ugly, derogatory term “FAT” label plastered across our life.

  2. Kayla, great word!
    It is true, as LaDonna pointed out, that wounds and lies from our childhood can shape our self-image. Sometimes we need help sorting through the internal trash. Replacing the lies with God’s truth. Finding an inner healing prayer team, like the Sozo teams at Bethel Church can be of enormous benefit! I’m honored to serve on such a team in the NW. Here’s to embracing the truth of who God says we are and seeing ourselves through His eyes of Love!

  3. We LOVE to listen to Andy Stanley at Northpoint Community Church in Alpharetta Ga and Francis Chan. Super good family applicable teachings, I have two teen boys and we all love them. It’s what I do in my spare time while doing dishes and other chores also.

  4. I did read the article on FB and caught myself when I started to complain about my hair a day or two later. We have some family members who focus on weight rather than health and moderation. So, I’ve made a point to try to speak to that with my dd when she asked about it. But negativity in any area is not a good thing. I often remind my boys that God has said we should ‘do everything without complaining or arguing’ but I find myself complaining about ‘little things’ like the way my hair is acting or toys/things that were left out. Ummmm-not any better!
    We like to listen to John Piper and R C Sproul and I love instrumental sacred music-so peaceful!

    1. I love Joyce Meyer! Worship music is so awesome. I love all types of music, so with worship music you get the message but have such a variety to choose from. If I’m in a hip-hoppy mood there’s Toby Mac, if I’m in a southern rock mood there’s Third Day, for a blugrassy vibe there’s Rett Walker Band. May daughter loves Brit Nicole and Jamie Grace. Her new favorite is Rend collective experiment. I believe they’re Irish so they’re jiggers and we love it. We can’t be still! We are so blessed in this day and age to have such a variety of speakers of the word who have an annoited way of communicating the word. Not every speaker is for everyone but there is one at least for you. You just have to find that person. On a testimony vibe, talking about music, my husband is a former gang member turned “working on being a Godly man”, I found a rapper by the name of Lacrae (not sure if I spelled that right) and my husband can relate to his lyrics but still identify with the music he loves. He wonders where this music was when he was living the wrong lifestyle. I told him that everything happens in God’s timing. He now ministers to those who choose to listen to negative lyrics and introduces them to the positive ones with the same style of music, so I could go on and on but I have to get back to work before I get fired! I’ll just start my own YL business then! I think you’re awesome Kayla. Such a Godly example to us! Thank you for all that you do to serve in God’s kingdom.

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