The Danger in Counting

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The Danger in Counting; Musings on Forgiveness

by Kayla Howard

How important do you think forgiveness is to your overall well being?  Have you ever stopped and pondered that thought? 

One of the sneakiest ways that we harbor un-forgiveness is by counting offenses.  You may not be aware of the fact that you are counting.  You may not even be doing it intentionally, but when the words "always" or "how many times have I told you" or "we already went over this" come out of your mouth, it's time to do a check up.

I know we are not that different.  I catch myself doing this all the time with my kids and my husband.  I never thought of myself as an offense counter.  I never plan revenge or keep track of who is supposed to do the next mean thing.  But I've been challenged recently to consider the fact that it actually is keeping a record when we use those words.  Besides, what does real love do? — "Keeps no record of wrongs."

Have you heard or said this before?  "That's right, I need to forgive… but I'm just not ready."

Hear me out on this one; I believe this is one of the enemy's most "white" of all lies.  The power of God is for today.  Don't kid yourself into thinking you can forgive all on your own — you will never be "ready" to do that.  God has the power to help you start forgiving right now, today.  Don't put God's power into another day or at some point in the future. 

Another thought I just want to touch on is the idea of self-forgiveness.  I have said, and people say it all the time, "you have to forgive yourself".  One my my friends recently challenged me by asking just what I meant by that.  After I thought about it for a minute, I realized that I'm actually using the wrong verbiage.  What I really mean is that we need to accept the forgiveness that God offers us.  As long as we refuse it, we'll be miserable.  It's waiting for us to embrace into our life!

Ask God to help you hear what you are saying today.  Sometimes what we think we believe, and what we are indicating we believe with our mouth are two different things.  I'm asking God to help me see this disconnect in my own life.

Stop giving the enemy authority in your life by harboring un-forgiveness.  Freedom from that burden is the best medicine of all.

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Kayla Howard is a stay at home wife and homeschooling mom who loves to teach the T-Tapp method of staying fit in 15 minutes a day from the comfort of your own home.  She is a  Biblical Health Coach and Senior T-Tapp Trainer, certified to teach all forms of T-Tapp.  If you'd like to know more about becoming and staying fit and healthy, Kayla is happy to answer your questions!  Visit her website: or Send an email to:

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